Lovers In A Box

I know that they are in there, rekindling their love affair.   Did it ever stop?  I know that they are in there, laughing at me and dreaming of when they will be together again.

I need to go inside and catch them in the act, but when?    I can’t enter while I am being watched.  If only the boys would get distracted with work, a game, a girl, another boat, a walk.

But then, she is also there, sitting in judgment of my every move.  She chastises me for my curiosity, terrorizes me with the thoughts of how this act will define me, what I will find, and what I will need to do if its true. And so I sit, not making a move, but wondering, obsessing.

I try to distract myself with books, cleaning, sleeping.  But still, the lovers are always there, waiting to be found.  Calling to me with their deception. I wonder if it will end if I stop thinking about it.  If I act as though nothing is happening, will I take away the fuel for their affair?  If I act as if our relationship is good, will that make it so?   Is it better not to know?  Am I risking my comfort?

But I keep cherishing the moment that I will enter and find out the truth.  The ‘aha, I’ve caught you’ moment. The moment that I can prove what I have known all along and say ‘see, I told you so’.   The moment that I can confirm that our love has been a sham. I look at the portal again, yearning with desire.  Time has come to a standstill.

I can hear the boys upstairs talking and I am wishing them away, but they still go on. I have become paralyzed.  I have ceased doing daily chores, getting out and enjoying life, smiling, bathing.   I am pushing him into her arms.

He holds me, fondles me, tells me he loves me, but I know it’s a lie, and I know what the truth is.   I just have to confirm it.

And then the moment comes.  I am alone and can now enter. But am I still being watched?  And what if one of the boys come back and finds that I have entered?  Will I cause my own undoing by the act of entering? Will I find out that I was wrong and be left only with the shame of my actions?    And what if I am right? So I walk away while still drawn by the lover’s beckoning.

The moment passes. The boys have returned.  I rise to take a shower.

——————————————————————————————————Today’s Daily Prompt from WordPress is about awakening the green-eyed monster within.  The painting of the green-eyed monster in this post was created by a very talented street artist and can be found in Honolulu, Hawaii on Kalakaua Avenue near Fern.